Tinker Tea - The Latest Craze in Kiddie Pageant Crack!

It's baaaack!  In case you haven't noticed, my personal addiction, the little drug I like to call, "Crazy Crack" is back to grace us with yet another season of lunacy.  Toddlers and Tiaras premiered a few weeks ago with Tori and Alexa Hensley and a nasty looking slime they termed "Tinker Tea".  Tori (aka, Mom), mixes together a diabetic-coma-in-a-bottle concoction of Mountain Dew, Pixie Stix and Sweet Tea and encourages her 2 year old little dumpling to chug-a-lug on pageant days.  The sugar and caffeine rush garnered from that overload-of-nasty is what keeps dental students at the University of Iowa dreaming of their vacation home in the Hamptons (that's a hyperlink to the U of I Dental Clinic, just in case you, the reader, needs a low cost cleaning OR all her daughter's teeth pulled as a result of Tinker Tea(th) Rot).  

If you've read my previous blogs or attended any of my seminars, you know that I have consistently encouraged those seeking Reality Television careers to "Embrace Your Crazy".  "Crazy" is the juice on which unscripted shows thrive.  But as evidenced by the interview I provided Radar Online regarding Tori's recent announcement that she is in negotiations to Develop an Energy Drink Targeted to Children (based on Tinker Tea), I am forced to draw the line somewhere in the Nut Bag Sand.

Now parents, aspiring stars and slimy marketing friends, you know that I understand your desire to make a name for yourself and in the process, hopefully generate a few bucks, better than anyone in the biz.  But developing an energy drink for our already over-stimulated, over-weight and over-indulged American children?  BRRREEEEPPP!  I have to call "foul" and "monumentally bad idea" all in one fell swoop!  Though I wouldn't be one bit surprised if the makers of Red Bull already have plans for the development of the very same product under way, it is certainly more palatable to  place blame on a huge company for a marketing faux pax such as this than the latest Toddlers and Tiaras star.

Oh, but wait, MAYBE the joke is on us!  Maybe, just Maybe, Tori Hensley is pulling an "Outpost.com" prank on us?  Frick!  I hope so!  If this is indeed an effort to remember the pageant duo's names, I can tell you Ms. Hensley, it's working!     

Now before anyone gets on my case about how I stated in THIS INTERVIEW (see hyperlink) that I am no longer taking child clients because the moms are just too damned crazy, be assured, Tori and Alexa are NOT my clients.  Indeed, this outrageous stage mom is a free agent, as far as I know.  But from what I hear, she's creating quite "The Stir" - which is the first ingredient to scoring your own reality television show ... God Help Us.

Until next time,

Heather A. Ryan
www.UnleashingAMomster.com
www.RyanTalent.com 

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