How to be cast in a MOVIE!

Every day, I am bombarded with parents from around the world asking me how to get their child involved in the entertainment industry.  While I do my best to answer as many questions as possible with the limited amount of time I have to work with non-clients, I simply cannot answer every single question.  But in this blog post, not only am I going to bestow some truly valuable information regarding how to become involved in the entertainment industry, I'm going to offer up participation in one of my upcoming projects to anyone who reads this post all the way through!

One of the most asked questions I get is, "How do I get my child into acting?"  This is the question I am going to focus on for this post, so buckle up, grab your pumpkin latte and read thoroughly.

Movies:  Feature length films (more than 80 minutes) and Short Films (less than 80 minutes) are your basic types of movies and are a fantastic way to get involved in acting.  I could ramble on for days about the film industry and making movies, but the most important thing you need to know when getting started is about MONEY!  Funding is what makes or breaks a movie project!

There are high budget films (think "Transformers" or "Spiderman"), which are financed by powerful studios and big investors with deep pockets. If you land a role in one of these, you have done your homework for casting, invested in acting lessons, headshots and travel and built your talent resume/IMDb profile.  With a part in a high budget film, you have hit the proverbial lottery of acting and you are well on your way to being awesome!

On the flip side, there are low budget independent films (think "Little Miss Sunshine", "Clerks" or "Paranormal Activity") where the writer and/or producer either fund the project themselves by selling their plasma OR they find funding through friends, family and/or crowd sourcing.  To land one of the roles in a low budget independent film, sometimes you just have to submit your headshot, resume and an audition video, OR, sometimes, as an actor, you just have to double as an investor and help fund the project through a crowd sourcing option (www.IndieGoGo.com or www.KickStarter.com).  There are literally thousands of independent projects which use crowd sourcing to fund their project - and one of them is MINE!  Yes, that's right, I have a low budget, independent film entitled,
"Inside Extra", currently available for investment on Indie Gogo (Click Here to be part of my magic).  

So you may be asking yourself right now, "Why in the heck would I invest $300, $500 or more to get my kid in one of these independent films?".  The answer to that is REALLY simple!  BECAUSE YOU GET TO WORK ON A FILM AND GET CREDIT!  Getting credit and building your resume and IMDb profile (Click here to see my profile) is essential to getting cast in bigger, higher budget projects.  PLUS you're helping a filmmaker get their work out into the world - which is a pretty awesome rage-against-the-machine!

Now, if you've read this far, you must know I am going to shamelessly plug my project in this paragraph.  "Inside Extra" the movie is a micro-budget short film that will shoot like an "expose" entertainment television shows (think 20/20 or Entertainment Tonight), trying to get a behind the scenes look into the world of child beauty pageants.  The movie is complete with faux commercials, all of which are "pageant centric" advertisements for products that we use in the pageant industry.  There are a plethora of roles available to investors ages 2-70.  A great number of the roles include children who have pageant experience and their own glitz wardrobe.  Filming will begin in Indianapolis in November, Atlanta in December and Des Moines in January.  Additional locations may be added if needed.  The film will be shown on the film festival circuit during the 2015-2016 season - including, but not limited to, Wild Rose Film Festival, River's Edge Film Festival, Chicago Film Festival, Heartland Film Festival and several more.  This comedy is like nothing that has ever been done and will surely be an instant cult classic.

IMPORTANT NOTE:  This movie films BEFORE I am slated to be a Producer on the feature length film, "Legend: The Bob Marley Story", June 2015 in Jamaica.  NOW is your opportunity to work on my personal pet project, before I become a raving success through my work on three much higher budgeted films with Da Vinci Film Works.    

 

(Inside Extra Sample Preview)

The number of roles in this movie is limited so I cannot more highly recommend getting off your bootie and supporting this Indie GoGo project sooner rather than later!  Consider your investment in this film as an investment in you and/or your child's acting career.  Rather than traveling to yet another pageant, where you MIGHT take home yet another crown that will just sit on the shelf for the next 20 years, invest in Inside Extra, secure a role in the movie, and be an actor with film credit to your name! 

There you go, my hard pitch for the easiest way to break into the movies as an actor.  I've never plugged my projects so hard for funding until this blog post, but that's just how dedicated I am to the cause!  Four years of planning and the time is NOW!  So, get on the stick and join me in my personal project, "Inside Extra" the movie.

Until Next Time,

Heather Ryan
The Ultimate Talent Mentor
Find me here on IMDb

STOP Pissing off Heather Ryan. Seriously!

Have you ever been in the position where everything seems to be going really well in your life?  Where you've just landed a job as the Unit Production Manager AND a Producer on a Major Motion Picture, you're slated to start filming your own movie, Inside Extra,  in December and your Pageant Expos have been a huge success?  While you're grateful and happy for all the fortune that has come from years of hard work, it's a tiny little bit of juicy, yet petty, gossip that just tickles you so much that all the above listed things makes you completely forget the massive amount of work on your plate while you laugh uncontrollably for hours.  It's moments like this that make me realize, no matter how accomplished, FRICK, I just can't escape that I am still a gossipy pageant mom at the core. 

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I have been very fortunate in my professional life in the entertainment industry.  My clients have done well as have all of the songs, books, films and music videos I've produced over the years.  However, if you are indeed privy to my past endeavors, you are surely aware that I had an "unfortunate" experience with a former client who tried to not only take credit for years of my tireless work on her/her child's behalves, but unbelievably, tried to sue and bankrupt my company.  So when a friend of mine forwarded the photo below to my mobile phone, I almost peed on myself laughing so hard at the misfortune of the stage mom pictured.  Indeed, I readily admit that I am a huge fan of Schadenfreude, laughing at other people's misery, but SURELY I am justified in this particular case?  YOU BE THE JUDGE!

Here's the skinny.  A former client of mine was spotted getting on the $1 Mega Bus to Toledo a few days ago.  No big deal, really - UNLESS - this former client is a holier-than-thou turd who is WAY too good to take public transportation and desperately wants you and the rest of the world to think she is a Mega Super Star living the high life in Los Angeles.  Being the petty, gossipy little turkey that I am, I couldn't help but turn around and post said photo on my social media so my friends could join me with a evil "Mwahahaha laugh".

Almost instantly, I started getting messages from people who had NEVER READ MY BOOK and didn't know the back story to the photo.  Fortunately for my friends, they knew enough to ask for a link to buy my book, so they could catch up with everyone else and read the story.  That's when I decided to make this offer ... HALF OFF DIGITAL/KINDLE COPIES OF "UNLEASHING A MOMSTER" FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS!  That's right!  For just $4.95, you can become part of the "In" crowd and learn all the details of one SERIOUSLY TAWDRY TALE.  Just click any of the Hyperlinks in this paragraph to take advantage of this offer.

Don't read your books on Kindle but still want to be one of the cool kids?  No Worries!  My book is available in soft copy as well - and I'm running a special on that too! DONATE AS LITTLE AS $25 TO MY MOVIE, "Inside Extra", right now, and I'll send you an autographed copy of "Unleashing a Momster" for your reading enjoyment.


So you may be asking yourself, "Why on earth is Heather promoting the crap out of her book in this blog post?"  The answer to that question is because I WANT YOU TO JOIN THE SCHADENFREUDE by reading the most scathing tell-all book ever written about the pageant industry.  Also, every book that I sell eats the Momster's lunch just a little bit more ... and that makes me incredibly giddy!  Mwahahaha.

On a relatively related note, be sure to "Like" my page on Facebook and/or Twitter.  I have a bunch of audition information coming up in the very near future!

Until Next Time,

Heather Ryan
The Ultimate Talent Mentor
Find me on IMDb

Serving up the Crow - ala Dani Geddes ...

It's Prince George's First Birthday - and to celebrate with our friends in the United Kingdom, we're having chocolate cake and a sizable helping of Crow!  That's right!  I'm serving it up, well done, and gobbling it down like it's my last meal!

Last year, I wrote a scathing review of a British pageant enthusiast and young entrepreneur, Dani Geddes.  Recently, while working on a music video in the Atlanta area, I had the opportunity to meet and work with Ms. Geddes on a separate project that included my daughter, Piper McNew and pageant superstar, Paisley Dickey.  I was fortunate to have lunch with Dani and her friends from England, at which time we ironed out the massive misunderstanding that took place for all to read about on my blog.  After lunch, we proceeded to Olympic Park in Atlanta, where she took the MOST AMAZING PHOTOS of my five year old that have ever been captured on film.

So, though this blog post surely won't receive as many hits as my insanely entertaining, though feverishly bitter blog post, "Pissing Off Heather Ryan", I do want to make a public statement, loud and clear, that Dani Geddes is a fantastic business woman with a superb eye in photography.  She was an astounding professional throughout our business interaction, even though she had every right to grab me by the hair and shove me face first into my Mellow Mushroom Spinach Pizza during our lunch meeting.

So with this blog I say, "Dani Geddes, I am sorry that I was such a flaming bitch-wad to you on my blog last year."  Now, can you please pass the salt, this crow is incredibly bland!  

Best in all,

Heather Ryan
Producer, Writer, Director - Eater of Crow when I deserve it!   

We're going to the Academy Awards!

I believe strongly that if you want something badly enough, you have to "put it out there" into the world.  Tell your friends, family and complete strangers that you want to achieve a specific goal.  Once you PUT IT OUT THERE, there's no going back - you HAVE to work voraciously toward achieving that goal, because it is out there and everyone knows about (and presumably is rooting for you to achieve) your goal.

A great example that proves my point is when I put out on national television that one of my clients was going to have a doll in her likeness.  As soon as that episode aired, WHAM, I really had to haul ass to figure out how to make that happen.  Similarly, when I decided to help my friend and colleague, Wendy Dickey, edit her book, I put it out there.  I told all of my friend and family that Wendy had a scathing tell-all book coming out and for some reason, she chose me to help her edit the modern masterpiece.
Now, CHECK IT OUT!  Wendy's book, "Living Vicariously Through My Daughter" is now available on Amazon (insert back pat here ...)!  


So with that being said, I hereby announce, "I am going to the Academy Awards!"  Seriously, I want one of those KILLER S.W.A.G. Bags that they give to the nominees.  HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT'S IN THESE THINGS?  When I saw that all the stuff that they cram into these amazing bags of Celebrity-Kiss-Ass, it was enough to light a fire under my procrastinating bootie and decide that it is finally time to create the documentary that has been swimming around in my head for years!  So it's right here, right now, that I am putting it out there that over the next six months, I will be filming, editing and preparing my Documentary (Short Subject), for consideration for the 2015 Academy Awards. 

Now, you may be thinking, "That luna-chick, Heather Ryan, has gone and lost her damn mind", which is most likely what Wendy Dickey and Fransoly Gonzalez thought when I recruited them to be a Producer and Subject, respectively.  But I am here to inform them that I have already purchased the film stock, planned my shoot dates and locations, written my shot schedule and even chosen kindred spirit, Kimberly Jessy, to handle our media relations when we create the most compelling pageant-centric documentary of all time! 

So there it is - WE'RE GOING TO THE OSCARS!  It's out there, it's real.  Now, I just need haul ass and figure out how to make it happen ... Filming starts FRIDAY!

Until next time,

Heather A. Ryan
The Ultimate Talent Mentor
FUTURE Academy Award Nominee 
Check out my awesome iMDB profile! 

Outlawing Pageants Creates Outlaws!

In case you have been avoiding International news lately (completely understandable, considering our

current relations with Syria and Russia), you may not know the latest bizarre news from abroad.  In a misdirected move by the French Senate, lawmakers recently passed a piece of legislation to OUTLAW All Beauty Pageants which include contestants under the age of 16.  From what I can tell by reading the news reports (I have yet to see the actual legislation), this sweeping measure would penalize Pageant Directors, parents, hotels, promoters and even media professionals for participating in or promoting the seemingly benign activity we know as "Baby Pageants".  We're not talking a slap on the wrist either - we're talking a substantial chunk of change (around $40,000) and up to a whopping 3 years in a French PRISON.  Seriously. 

Now, please allow me to backtrack just a little, in case you haven't followed my personal history, and are unaware of how and why this outrageous piece of legislation is important to me and my business.  I have been actively involved in "Baby Pageants" as a parent, judge, coach, photographer, promoter and most importantly, Director, since 1995.  As a Talent Manager, I personally represent and build the brands of many of the top contestants in pageantry - and as fate would have it, I have been planning an American Glitz Pageant Tour of Europe since Spring 2012.  The tour will include not only the promotion of the Pageant Super-Star, Dianely Noesi, and her upcoming pageant-based exorcize video, "Sweatin' Glitter", as well as her new Energy Drink, "P3", we also planned to host Pageant Competitions with my system, "Glamorous" in Germany, England and yes, FRANCE!  So needless to say, as the Senate sent this nutty legislation to the House for a vote, my heart skipped a few beats with the idea of being imprisoned for doing what I do best - hosting a fun competition for parents and children and allowing little girls the experience of  being a princess for a day.

French politicians, in all their infinite wisdom (cough, cough, choke, choke), tacked on the provision
which effectively bans child pageantry in a piece of legislation that was meant to promote equality and women's rights.  There are two points that need to be made here.  First, the introduction of this new law was apparently in response to the Vogue Magazine photo spread of 2012 which included pre-teen models dressed beyond their years, including bright rouge and flaming red lips.  So one must ask the question, "What exactly does that have to do with Baby Pageants?"  The answer to that is, "NOTHING!".  But there are no American-style pageants in France.  So, taking on the perception of pageantry, as created by Reality TV, is a whole lot easier than tackling the fashion and modeling industry, or even Vogue Magazine for that matter.  Banning American Style Glitz Pageants in a country where there have historically been NO American Style Glitz Pageants (we will be the first to visit the country), is a pathetic attempt of politicians to "prove" that they are doing something to "protect" women from the evils of their femininity.  Which leads me to the next point.


This legislation was introduced and passed by a group who consider themselves feminist activists.  However, unlike many in the American Glitz Pageant World, I too consider myself a feminist activist and speak with authority on this matter in particular.  By telling women that they are not allowed to enter their children in a competition which celebrates beauty and stage presence the French government is insulting parents and instituting an oppression one would expect to see in the Middle East, not a country who is engrossed in the fashion and beauty industries.   How can the government pretend to know what is best for the young female child's psyche and disregard the desire of the parent?   Additionally, it is disingenuous to a disgraceful degree to insinuate that a study regarding how Baby Pageants effect children exists.  A scientific study of the effects of beauty-based competitions  has not even been conducted in the United States, where pageantry is an estimated $5 Billion-A-Year Industry, let alone in France, where they have only seen these contests on television.  Indeed, the politicians are not "Protecting" women or children from the perceived "evils" of pageantry.  Instead, they are "Protecting" us from being parents and feminine beings - and that is NOT Feminism!

So right about now, you may be asking if I still plan to take my American Style Glitz Pageant, Glamorous, and the little pageant star, Dianely Noesi, to France on our European tour.  The answer is unquestionably, OUI!  OUI!  First, this preposterous legislation must pass the Lower House and then be signed in to law by the French President, Francois Hollande.  When and if that does happen, the question of personal freedom still remains and should be tested, as is the case in any free society.  If France wants to fashion themselves as liberal thinkers and innovators, perhaps they should stop focusing so much on how to restrict the liberties of their people and more on how to improve the welfare of the citizens.  I know I will be doing my part to "Sprinkle American Glitz Around The World" in the mean time.  It might just be a little bit harder now, since the hotel we booked  retracted their offer to host our Paris event since this legislation was moved.  But if we have to host our fun, family friendly competition from a cell at the Bastille, we will do what needs to be done in order to fight this invasion on personal liberty (and commerce) abroad. 

Tinker Tea - The Latest Craze in Kiddie Pageant Crack!

It's baaaack!  In case you haven't noticed, my personal addiction, the little drug I like to call, "Crazy Crack" is back to grace us with yet another season of lunacy.  Toddlers and Tiaras premiered a few weeks ago with Tori and Alexa Hensley and a nasty looking slime they termed "Tinker Tea".  Tori (aka, Mom), mixes together a diabetic-coma-in-a-bottle concoction of Mountain Dew, Pixie Stix and Sweet Tea and encourages her 2 year old little dumpling to chug-a-lug on pageant days.  The sugar and caffeine rush garnered from that overload-of-nasty is what keeps dental students at the University of Iowa dreaming of their vacation home in the Hamptons (that's a hyperlink to the U of I Dental Clinic, just in case you, the reader, needs a low cost cleaning OR all her daughter's teeth pulled as a result of Tinker Tea(th) Rot).  

If you've read my previous blogs or attended any of my seminars, you know that I have consistently encouraged those seeking Reality Television careers to "Embrace Your Crazy".  "Crazy" is the juice on which unscripted shows thrive.  But as evidenced by the interview I provided Radar Online regarding Tori's recent announcement that she is in negotiations to Develop an Energy Drink Targeted to Children (based on Tinker Tea), I am forced to draw the line somewhere in the Nut Bag Sand.

Now parents, aspiring stars and slimy marketing friends, you know that I understand your desire to make a name for yourself and in the process, hopefully generate a few bucks, better than anyone in the biz.  But developing an energy drink for our already over-stimulated, over-weight and over-indulged American children?  BRRREEEEPPP!  I have to call "foul" and "monumentally bad idea" all in one fell swoop!  Though I wouldn't be one bit surprised if the makers of Red Bull already have plans for the development of the very same product under way, it is certainly more palatable to  place blame on a huge company for a marketing faux pax such as this than the latest Toddlers and Tiaras star.

Oh, but wait, MAYBE the joke is on us!  Maybe, just Maybe, Tori Hensley is pulling an "Outpost.com" prank on us?  Frick!  I hope so!  If this is indeed an effort to remember the pageant duo's names, I can tell you Ms. Hensley, it's working!     

Now before anyone gets on my case about how I stated in THIS INTERVIEW (see hyperlink) that I am no longer taking child clients because the moms are just too damned crazy, be assured, Tori and Alexa are NOT my clients.  Indeed, this outrageous stage mom is a free agent, as far as I know.  But from what I hear, she's creating quite "The Stir" - which is the first ingredient to scoring your own reality television show ... God Help Us.

Until next time,

Heather A. Ryan
www.UnleashingAMomster.com
www.RyanTalent.com 

*** My Hyperlinks Rock! ***

 Be sure to click on the hyperlinks provided in my blog posts - they ALWAYS add to the story! ***

The Momster is Going to Pummel Me!

If you haven't been following my Facebook, Twitter, E-Mails or Media Relations, you may be completely unaware that I recently released a book, "Unleashing a Momster" for your Kindle or in Paperback.  But for all of my friends and fans who are NOT big readers, I also released a song and music video entitled, "Momster", which is most assuredly the most hilarious parody ever filmed on a $25 budget.  (As always, each of the above hyper-links leads to the items to which they refer, so be sure to click through to each of them to experience the awesomeness!)

So all of the above information is a little dated because it all happened within the past two weeks.  But what you MAY NOT know is two fold and more recent!  The New York Daily News added the "Momster" about whom I write and sing to their Top Ten Worst Hollywood Moms.  She joined the ranks of gems like, "Tan Mom" and Courtney Love and BEAT OUT staples of the Bad Parent Support Group like "OctoMom"!  So while that made for a fantastic Mother's Day gift for me, personally, I have to imagine that The Momster's May 12th was a little less rosy.

But wait, there's more!  Whomever said that "Bad Things Happen in 3's" hasn't met The Momster - because the 4th  blow just hit yesterday!  I am pleased to announce that the Polk County Court System just assigned me a COURT DATE for which my case against one "Mickie Null-Wood" will be heard. This case is in response to the malicious prosecution and frivolous lawsuit she filed against me in 2012.  We will meet on May 24, 2013 at 2:00 PM at the Polk County Courthouse to hash out whether Mrs. Wood is liable to pay the attorney fees that I incurred in an effort to protect my name, reputation and assets when she attempted to sue me after we wrapped filming of Eden's World.  Note:  She dropped her case against me after several months and tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fee later - so now I'm just seeking part of the damages she caused in the wake of her paranoia and greed.

I accept the risk of sounding a wee bit glib in saying that it feels GOOOOOOD to be on the front end of this case and to finally be going to court on my terms!  Regardless of how this shakes out, I am pleased as punch to have a court date so I can finally face off with the most evil parasite in the history of the human race (well, less, maybe, Hitler). 

So stay tuned, stay interested, stay entertained.  I will keep you posted on the latest via this blog, my facebook pages, twitter and (hopefully) through the media.   There is a lot coming up over the next few weeks that I want to tell you about, so be sure to keep your eyes peeled!

Until Next Time,

Heather Ryan
www.RyanTalent.com